Someone from the Boston Lair once asked me, "I'd love to hear some of your strategies for getting a chick hot and bothered over the phone or when you first meet them. I've been running into problems with upping buying temp on cold approaches and with phone game lately."
I've found that the four greatest factors in getting a woman "hot and bothered" when I first meet them are:
1) Kino: being comfortable touching her early and easily
2) Body language: stand, walk, sit, and use your hands with purpose and certainty. i.e. When you reach out your hand for her grab onto, you should do it in a way that shows you did it on purpose and expect her to comply. Same goes with kino. "Accidentally" brushing a girl while walking by is not kino; it's the closest a chode gets to getting laid.
3) Tonality: speak loudly, clearly, & deeply. They shouldn't be struggling to hear you. When testing compliance, ask fewer questions and issue more commands (playfully of course)
4) Understand the difference between nonreactivity and calibration: do not react to her verbal responses whether they're positive or negative...just keep rolling. (If you have a problem with "overnegging," this is often why. You wait around for her response). This is "being nonreactive."
However, do pay attention to her body language and the surrounding environment and alter your game accordingly. That's calibration (more on this later). Misunderstanding and misusing these concepts messed me up for a loooong time.
5) Sexual confidence: you can hypnotize yourself or you can learn how to dicknotize girls. I've found the latter much more effective. Btw, I read Spiritfinger's book and it is as amazing as they say.
Routines and openers can be great for total beginners and are very entertaining, but unnecessary and no where near as important as the factors above. Don't just work on developing that stuff when you go out; do it all the time with everyone and always till you've internalized it and do it subconsciously.
Phone game is different. Body language and kino go out the window and you have to calibrate according to her voice tone, which is also challenging. Thus, words are much more important. Important concepts to keep in mind are:
1) First offer value, then let her reciprocate.
Don't call up and ask her how her day went right off the bat. You're asking her to give value...not to mention lead the conversation. Bad...you should always be pacing and leading every step of the way, from the initial approach to the breakup. Instead, start off with some interesting things that happened to you and if possible, sprinkle in some chick crack.
i.e. I started off telling the girl in this LR how I observed in the OR that week and saw a total hip replacement. I then talked about how my experiences compared to what they show on Grey's Anatomy (the TV show every girl under 30 watches). I took her into my world and tied it to the positive emotions of something she's into (a.k.a. I built rapport).
2) Take her on a series of emotions
You'll create a much stronger attraction & rapport if you make her feel several different emotions while talking to you. For ex., the story above made her giggle and feel happy. At one point, I talked about the Sept. 11 anniversary which clearly made her feel sad/anxious. Then make her feel more emotions. This is exactly why c&f, negging, and teasing works: in one sentence you make her feel bad/self-conscious and then good, comfortable, and laughing. Girls are emotional junkies.
3) Know ahead of time the days and times you're free to do the Day2 (or Day3 etc.) and where you'll meet up. You don't want to do this while on the phone. Girls hate it when guys don't have a plan for the Day2.
4) Whatever you're going to do, overhype it and then invite her to join you. i.e. You're not just going to a bar. You're going to this cool place you go all the time and love because _________. Get her interested in the place first. That way, she has two reasons to say yes: to meet up with you and to check out this cool place. Even if it's your place, overhype it. The main selling point is you, not the venue/place where you meet up. A good example of this is from Cash's LR a few months back where he told this myspace girl about his "indoor basketball" court at his apartment, which she later learns is nothing but nerf hoops. Smile Does she care? No, 'cause she's just happy to be around him, and it gave her an extra reason to go to his room.
5) Talk to her for a few more min. after setting up the Day2 and end the call on a happy note. Well, this is pretty self-explanatory. I do it just to set myself apart from the typical chode who ends the call immediately after setting up a "date."
Finally, as an overall structure, I find the MM too rigid. It doesn't take into account calibration, which is crucial. So, I find myself going back and forth between attraction and rapport based on what's happening in the interaction. i.e. If she seems bored, I go into attraction and kino a lil more. If she's into me, but uncomfortable, I go into rapport & kino a bit less.
-The Dicknotist
Ever been across one of those online ads where the woman rattles off the qualities she's looking for in a guy and just before she's done, she says she wants to be "friends first?" Well, this post actually isn't about online dating, but how that strange phrase totally sums up an important inner game issue that escapes many men: the importance of cultivating male friendships.
" (Translation: Please, please fuck me, Dicknotist! I live and worship at the altar of your huge, black cock!)
