From the Mailbag: When the Pickup Goes Cold...

Settle down, guys. Class is in session! It's that time again. I take a break from my usual blogging to answer your questions. This situation involves a common sticking point among aspiring PUAs: a hot pickup goes cold.

Hey Dicknotist,

It's been a while since I have emailed you, but I'm pretty confused with this new girl I'm gaming. Ill try and keep this short.

We have known each other for about 2 months and since then we have spent about 20- 25 hours together, done normal shit like shopping, coffees, house parties. We connect extremely well, share so many things in common, her friends like me and like wise my friends like her. Sexually? It's full on and we have done everything except for sex.

However Dicknotist, I'm been very confused this past week. Even though we connect well, i have social proof with her, and sexual interest; what I don't understand is why she has been flaking me and constantly talking about her guy friends who give her graduation presents and like her all in this past week.

The flaking issue has happened about 3 times, I have invited her out to movies, city, coffee and chilling with my friends and every time she can't get there or she uses the final examinations for school as her excuse. Even though the final exams are close its only 3 weeks away and one day would not jeopardize the results. I'm getting tired of constantly trying to invite her out... maybe I'm being too persistent? But in the past 2 months shes never flaked on my offers before.

Furthermore, the constant boasting about guys trying to pick her up and giving her gifts is acceptable since she is pretty, but it is a constant subject on the phone and is really annoying me lately. I usually brush it off with a "oh thats nice" or a change of subject but i think its time i should talk to her about it. What do you think is best?

What I'm considering is completely nexting her and rarely contacting her (since I'm doing most of that) until the exams are over in 4 weeks. I'm considering just calling her once every week or second week to check up on her and give her the gift of missing me. Its obvious she likes me, and shes even told me she hates how i don't call her that often (I call her 2-3 times a week).

Anyway, I've tried to keep it fairly short but if you need anymore information to this I'm happy to give you any insight into this relationship/girl I'm currently gaming haha.

I just need some reassurance and advice that what I'm planning to do won't backfire in 4 weeks when I try and restart this girl...

Here's my advice:

Go fuck ten other women! Besides that...

Ok, before we discuss what you actually do from here on out, we cannot ignore how you got to this point in the first place. If the attraction is there and things are as "on" as you claim, there's no reason two months should go by before you two have sex unless:
1) she's just not that into you
2) you're missing windows of opportunity
3) you are stalling sex because of some insecurity

My guess is it's #2.

In Vin DiCarlo's Natural Game structure, he emphasizes the importance of noticing and seizing upon windows of opportunity. A window of opportunity is when a woman offers a guy an opportunity for escalation. Personal examples from my own experience include: the girl offers to cook you dinner at her place, the girl starts kinoing you more and leans in more closely, she texts you late at night, she blows off her friends to hang out with you, her conversation becomes sexual, etc. For more examples and a more in depth discussion, Sebastian of theapproach.net has a great article on this topic as well.

Missing a window of opportunity is very unattractive while seizing upon a window of opportunity is extremely attractive. Of course, the most attractive move is to actually create a window of opportunity, which we'll discuss in a bit.

When you miss the window and don't escalate accordingly, the woman's attraction for you wanes because she may start questioning whether you really like her. When a girl gets into this mode of thinking, she'll likely reject herself before you do. Accordingly, over time, she'll make it harder for you to see her again and will shit test you more as she thinks she has to up her value to get you to like her. Chick logic at work.

Many guys underestimate just how much more insecure women are to men. Her bragging about other guys hitting on her is her feeble attempt to show you that other guys find her attractive. Since social proof works for them, they think it must work for guys when wearing a pound of make-up and going to the gym 6 days a week is much more effective. If I were in your shoes, I would've joked that next time, I'd be there to protect her from all the "creepies." Now, you set the frame that 1) you'll see her again, 2) you'll protect her, and 3) the other guys are creepy. It's a great way to blow out other guys out by reframing their hitting on her as creepy. At the same time, it subtly hints at some interest on your part. At some point the girl has to know that you're into her. Words are not enough. Give her the cock!

Ok, so what do you do from here? I would be playfully persistent and send flirty texts rather than phone calls all the time. When you're actually around her, bait her to create windows of opportunity through proper kino escalation, which is explained in depth in the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder. When you kino properly, you will actually start creating windows of opportunity as evidenced in a recent study. Follow the Ladder closely and escalate fully.

Some final points: another key component is the notion of compliance: having the girl work to please you. If you put effort into achieving something, you value it more. The same principle applies in pickup. Also,without isolation, sex is very unlikely. You mentioned that you and her have gone to shopping malls, coffee houses, and house parties, which is fine, but I read no mention of any type of sex location. Whenever you go out, you should always be thinking about isolating her to your place or hers so sex can actually occur. Again, here is where kino is crucial. Kino opens the window; you just have to recognize and step through it.

Stalker Syndrome

There are two categories of guys most women avoid at all costs. The first of course, is the “creepy” chode, which we have discussed before...twice. Most women develop a very sensitive radar to creepiness that is impressive in its accuracy. I define creepiness essentially as a guy masking his intentions and natural personality because of social anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of rejection, bad advice from PUA gurus who teach indirect game, and a host of other reasons. As a result, the woman has problems trusting the guy and instead, everything in her biology tells her to get away.

Guys who have long-term success with women unapologetically display at least some of their flaws while the more socially reserved "nice guys" court, wine, and dine women as if they're the perfect knights in shining armor. Yet is that true? Is anyone without flaws? And who do these nice guys think they're foolin?!

Imagine being asked to invest in two types of stocks. The first one is a fairly solid investment in a real estate company, yet there is a 50% chance of losing all your money because the housing market is pretty volatile right now. The other stock...well, actually, you don't know much about the other stock. It also involves a real estate company, but in another area of the country and you have no idea what the odds are of losing all your money. Your chance of bankruptcy could be 10% or perhaps as high as 90%. You just don't know. So, which do you choose?

There is wisdom to the old adage, "better the devil you know than the one you don't." The nice guy masking his intentions behind phony pleasantries or the PUA newbie who recites endless routines is like the investor getting you to put your money into something without informing you of the risks. In a dating scenario, the risk of the girl picking the wrong guy can be as high as death. you know nothing about. Direct game tells women what the risk is and if you have more going for you than most guys, there's nothing to worry about. If she rejects the offer, then she's just unwise. A nation of financial illiterates is what keeps this country's banks in business.

Likewise, being in the stalker category is no better than getting labeled creepy and could have you fighting a restraining order if you're really clueless. So, how do you avoid the stalker vibe?

Every once in a blue moon, you'll come across an article in the mainstream media that actually has solid advice. Askmen.com recently posted an article with some excellent tips on behavior that sets off her alarms in the beginning stages:

Making persistent contact

While it's understandable that you want to get to know her better and you have many reasons for getting in touch with her, it's probably best if you keep your contact to date-planning and leave the rest for face-to-face meetings. Filling her in-box with gushing notes, leaving multiple rambling phone messages, and texting after-hours can be overwhelming to a woman you've only just met. She'll get the impression that you're needy at best, or a future stalker at worst -- neither of which is likely to make her melt.

The “normal guy” alternative: Stick to the 3-to-1 ratio for contact to keep yourself in check and stifle overeagerness: Never initiate contact more than three times without any initiative on her part to return the gesture.

Giving too much disclosure

Kudos to anyone who wants to lay their dirty laundry out there for the world to see in the name of honesty -- it's an admirable quality in plenty of situations. Unfortunately, dating isn't one of those times. If she only knows a few things about you, it's best to make sure those things are vital and won't overwhelm her. You should definitely fill her in early on some of the basics that would impact the future of your relationship and is a present issue in your life -- like if you're a single parent, leaving the country or have a terminal illness. She might feel duped if you wait too long to fill her in on these types of things.

The “normal guy” alternative: On the other hand, things dealing with the past are best kept to yourself for a few dates. Things like a criminal record or past mental health issues should be disclosed only after you have a basic relationship going and feel that you're at a point where you can trust her not to judge you solely on whatever you tell her.

Being possessive or overprotective

Chivalry and protectiveness are staples in romantic relationships and are worth your attention, considering that women generally respond well to a knight in shining armor. But you're likely to run into trouble if you take this to the extreme and make issues out of nothing. Not letting her walk home late at night is gentlemanly; chastising her for chatting with the bartender for a few minutes longer than you think is necessary is brutally overbearing. Keep in mind that as a not-quite-boyfriend it isn't within your realm to dictate her friends, wardrobe or activities.

The “normal guy” alternative: When it comes to her safety when she's with you, by all means step it up and look after your date just as you would with any woman entrusted to your care. When it comes to her ability to make her own decisions, remember that you two aren't a solid couple and she is entitled to autonomy -- no one wants to feel like they’re being watched like a hawk.

Overstepping boundaries with her friends

For a relationship to take off, it's vital for you to get along with your new lady's friends and family. Making a little effort when introduced to those in her inner circle can go a long way, but you need to keep the boundaries intact. It's important to remember that these are her friends and her family and they aren't automatically going to become your closest pals simply by association. Bypassing her and becoming overly friendly with them will seem like you're settling into her life before she's even decided whether or not you're here to stay, and will have her questioning your tactics.

The “normal guy” alternative: It's better to leave the social planning up to her and avoid socializing with her friends when she isn't around. If you happen to run into someone you've met through her, keep it polite and short, and always let her know right away to avoid looking sneaky.

Dropping by unexpectedly

Dropping by unexpectedly might seem like a truly romantic and spontaneous gesture that surely can't be taken in the wrong way, right? Wrong. This is especially true if she hasn't disclosed her schedule and your timing is always impeccable. Make this move and you'll be outing yourself as a potential stalker. It goes without saying that dropping off surprises for her is also a big no-no in the beginning of any relationship; flowers on the doorstep or chocolates at her office might be wonderful anniversary gifts for your long-time girlfriend, but they have no place in initial courtship.

The “normal guy” alternative: Stick to mutually approved run-ins and planned dates in your pursuit of a new woman. Being too available always backfires and can make her uncomfortable if you always catch her by "surprise."

Having outbursts

Women are always going on about men not being emotional or transparent with their feelings, and they do have a point to some extent. She might be looking for a few more displays of sincere feelings, but that won't extend to your road rage or any aggressively emotional outbursts that seem to be overreactions. Yelling at a waiter or losing your temper after getting turned away by that obnoxious bouncer could have her questioning whether you are a prime candidate for anger management classes -- not exactly an endearing thought.

The “normal guy” alternative: The best plan of action is to keep your cool at all costs. If a situation gets out of hand and has you ready to throw a fist in the company of your date, it's better to walk away than spring into action. Leave the macho attitude for guys' night out, or risk being labeled a frat-boy Neanderthal.

Overspending

It might seem like women can be easily impressed with flashy gifts and expensive tokens of your affection, but be careful not to substitute baubles for bonding. Too many presents too early in the relationship will leave her thinking that you might not have anything more substantial to offer, or that you are hoping to buy her affection (or naughty favors) with your cash. Either way, a lot of women will actually react in the complete opposite way by being more distant and feeling obligated to you because of your indulgences.

The “normal guy” alternative: If you are the type who likes to shower your lady with things, stick to those that can be enjoyed together or things that are more activity-based, like tickets to a concert, rather than overly romantic purchases like flowers (just for her enjoyment) or perfume (too personal). If a major holiday or birthday appears early in the dating stages, opt for a nice night out or a small but thoughtful present, rather than something that breaks the bank.

creeping her out

As you can see, dating is a tightrope that requires a careful balancing act. If you don't do enough, you'll come off as uninterested, and if you do too much you're likely to scare her off. Your initial instinct might be to go overboard and really wow a new woman whom you're interested in, but you'll have more luck if you stick to the middle of the road and carefully decide how much is too much before you become a cautionary tale doing the rounds among her friends.

The Power of Beauty

My, my. How the mighty fall. It seems like yesterday I could remember Britney when she still had lovely blonde hair and had teenage boys everywhere fantasizing of bending her over the teacher's desk. Not too long ago, Lindsay Lohan was voted by Maxim as the hottest woman on Earth? Does she still look hot covered in vomit and coke dust and slumped over a steering wheel? Oh, and who can forget Paris, who produced the best sex tape since Pamela and Tommy's. Yet at the end of the day, they're human like all of us and as the above video depicts, they're very, very flawed.

Beauty is an amazing, awesome force that rivals only money in its power. Beauty is why an ugly woman who drinks too much is an alcoholic and a hottie who does the same is a "party girl." Beauty is often the reason why attractive women are usually friendlier and more sociable than their overweight or ugly friends who rarely get attention from men. The acquisition and maintenance of beauty fuels much of the face-lifts, wigs, liposuctions, breast augmentations, hair dying, and sale of color contact lenses that are all the rage among women these days. For men, beauty serves a dual role: to alert us of a suitable fuck mate and according to the advertising industry and the greater media, nice trophy evidence of male dominance.

Like money, beauty itself is not inherently evil. As Ayn Rand once wrote in her classic, Atlas Shrugged:

"Money will not purchase happiness for the man who has no concept of what he wants: money will not give him a code of values, if he's evaded the knowledge of what to value, and it will not provide him with a purpose, if he's evaded the choice of what to seek. Money will not buy intelligence for the fool, or admiration for the coward, or respect for the incompetent. The man who attempts to purchase the brains of his superiors to serve him, with his money replacing his judgment, ends up by becoming the victim of his inferiors."

Replace "money" with "a beautiful woman" above and the quote remains accurate and profound. Beauty can inspire or it can destroy. Spear's beauty gave her an opportunity to showcase her genuine talent in putting on impressive performances. Today, her inability to handle the benefits of her own beauty is dismantling her before our very eyes. Don't make her mistake. Does beauty inspire you to bring out your best to attract a beautiful woman or is beauty a trophy you acquire for self-esteem. Do you know the difference?

Personally, I view beauty as my reward for being a powerful man who builds a wonderful life. If misery loves company, happiness magnetically attracts the best of people. When you're truly and deeply fulfilled and happy, people will offer you anything to get a piece of that power. These days with the record number of people taking psychiatric medications, happiness is a gift more rare and more valuable than money and beauty combined. You have everything you need to be content right now. Be happy and your bed will be overflowing with pussy juice.

The Social Savant vs. The Social Chode

There are those people who were seemingly born to be social savants. They’re comfortable in any group, can intermingle effortlessly, and easily become the talk of the room. At the other extreme are the socially shy. They prefer to stay in small groups or even alone and do their best to fade into the crowd. Then there are people who don't even fit on the comtinuum...or in any social setting actually. They're the social chodes: people who have no clue how to behave in a social setting.

Neil Strauss is famous for his post, “Social Robots.” In it, he describes the phenomenon of people in the community who learn how to game and are always “on,” meaning they can never just relax and be normal. Even in a more subdued setting, they’re in game mode and coming across as nothing short of bizarre.

Rather than fill your heads with more theory, here are some general points to keep in mind when you’re out of the bar or club setting and you’re interacting in your social circle, such as attending a private house party.

The basic principle is to be a value-giver, not a value-taker. Who rejects a free meal? I once won a free can of soup at the supermarket. I never ate the crap, but I happily took it. Winning it made my evening precisely because it was free. On the other hand, no one wants to be around someone who’s after something. Imagine the life of an IRS worker. Each year, a polling company asks Americans which profession they hold in the highest esteem. The IRS has never made the list because they are known for taking. Be a giver and trust that people will repay you. Often they will and in a manner more generous than you’d expect!

Loosely based on Robert Greene’s “The Art of Seduction,” here are the characteristics of social savants:

• The goofball: Make people feel like a kid again, with no responsibilities, repercussions, or insecurities. Note: this is not the same as being a dancing monkey. For a good portrayal of this characteristic and to see the difference, check out Jonah Hill’s character (Seth) in Superbad.

• The Charmer: Say and do things that make people feel good. Tell them what they want to hear (but actually be sincere). Think George Clooney.

• The Charismatic: Makes the difficult seem effortless. Think Martin Luther King, Jr. He put himself in one of the most dangerous of positions…and made it look so easy. (While he's most well-known for his contributions to Civil Rights, few people know how much of a PUA he was...so much so that J. Edgar Hoover tried to blackmail him with audiotapes of his liaisons).

• The Star: Give people a taste of confidence. Pull the socially shy out of their shells. Give her the attention she desperately craves...and she will become addicted to it when you later pull away. Think Tom, the founder of myspace. He's turned millions of women into "stars" and they're addicted to myspace now.

The following are the most common types of social chodes. Don’t be one of these:

• The Cocky Chode: he makes up for his insecurities by faking confidence, but going overboard and looking more like a deluded, hyperactive goat-boy than anything else. The best confidence to shoot for is that relaxed, comfortable-in-your-own-skin confidence…the real stuff, but the boastful b.s. most people eventually see through.

• The Needy Chode: He calls and texts people all the time, asking them what they’re doing and never offering to invite them out to a social event. There's always a give and a take. Don't be a moocher and give people space.

• The Self-righteous Chode: “Women are sluts…and they have AIDS!” He judges everyone and everything, but at the end of the night, he curses the good Lord for another night of masturbation. Having strong religious or spiritual convictions is fine, but don't act like a Pat Robertson. Condemning people left and right for their sins and indiscretions is hardly the definition of cool.

• The Pussy Chode: He never takes any risks. He talks like a seasoned politician, carefully weighing all his words for fear of offending someone or having someone disagree with him. You may wonder if this conflicts with "The Charmer." No, because what separates the two is sincerity and boldness. It’s ok to say something off color once in a while. Look at Borat or Howard Stern and how beloved and successful they are.

• The Mumbling Chode: Project your voice, bitch!! Speak up so people can hear you and actually know that you’re even speaking to them. If you must, ride around in your car with all the windows up and scream at the top of your lungs a few times every day.

• The Sensitive Chode: There’s a time and a place for sensitivity, but not in a social setting where people are teasing and joking around. Don’t fly off the handle or start creating enemies for one small comment that stung a little too much. Pretend you're at a roast. No matter what someone says, you're still the most beloved person in the room.

Remember these guidelines when you're ready to go beyond the pickup persona and actually make some friends (with benefits).

Social Circle Game by Badboy

Badboy's back with this excellent article on gaming women in your social circle:

I am aware that most of guys are sick going out to clubs and sarging girls with cold approach ( I am). I think it's time to get back to old-school game.

Working your social circles. Even though we've developed some very nice tactics and strategies for clubs, we all know deep inside that social circles are easiest way to get pussy.

The biggest problem with social circles we had in college days is that they all fall apart. Most guys with game fucked most of the girls, some guys married a few of the girls, and a few years after we graduated the easy social circle disappeared.

After the easy social circle era, we started going to clubs for the hunt. Next big resource of pussy. This is where all our PUA tactics came into play.

After years of feeding ourselves with clubs bitches and sarging all over the world, we are all fed up with going to clubs and working the same types of girls there. I think we all need something fresh.

The next logical step is back to the social circle.

I know no one has really written some solid advice for social circle game, so I will start and I hope this is going to be the beginning of a light in this dark tunnel.

Social circle game = long term strategies.

First guys, this is a totally new game; different rules, different mindset, but when you combine your PUA knowledge with this, things go beyond what's possible off of cold approach.

Before you even start, you must get rid of that stupid PUA mindset of “trying to fuck every girl who crosses your path”.

That mindset is not compatible with good Social Circle game. Again, we are thinking long term.

Rule 1# - You must create female friends

These will be girls you don't sleep with…just pure female friends. They are your bait.

Girls that love being around you, that are into you sexually even... BUT YOU DON'T FUCK THEM. This may be very hard, especially for you hard core “PUAs” , but it's the way to go.

Having few beautiful girls in your life who are totally into you, but you DON'T FUCK will put you constantly around OTHER hot girls who you CAN fuck.

For most community social robots this is a total paradox. You meet a 9, you build attraction, rapport, you bring her home and you don't fuck her? Absolutely…

You need to get few of those girls, who will be bait and bring many, many other girls into your life and tell them all how awesome you are…

Rule #2 - Don't eat your bait

When you go fishing, if you eat your bait… What do you plan to get fish with?

The bigger bait you have, the bigger FISH you’re going to get!
The more hot your friends are... the hotter girls the hotter girls they will bring into your life.

Every 9 has at least 10- 15 more 9's in her life. Those are the girls you can fuck... just not that first 9.

So as a rule, don't hit or try to fuck your inner circle, instead fuck the outer circles.

Amen. Women friends can give you some insight into the madness of the female mind. More importantly, they can provide you with more poon than you know what to do with...if you play it smart. Listen to Badboy - he knows what he's talking about.

FR: Don't Be Creepy

Oh, last night was a fun time! My usual wing couldn't come out and instead of calling for reserves, I actually went out alone. I used to do this ages ago to build my inner game. Going out alone forces you to either approach people and have a good time...or stand in the corner crying in your beer. Of course, I wasn't truly "alone," as I greeted the bar staff who I've gotten to know over the past few months.

I waltz over to the bar looking to try something new when I notice this sweet two set seated to my left. Instant opener: "Hey, what are you drinking?" She said something that sounded like "Smitz" and highly recommended it. Of course, I went ahead and ordered myself a round and actually, it wasn't too bad!

Because of the seating, we all sat on stools where it was HBTravel, HBBoston, and then me, which is not preferred as I usually like to be in the middle. For now, I just projected and had no problem kinoing them both. I kept the conversation light and was more interested in HBTravel as she was visiting HBBoston and from my experience, girls on vacation are more open to same night pulls.

All of a sudden, this short chode rolls in and before he even opened his mouth, I immediately told myself, "Oh, that dumbass already fucked up!" Now, he's standing behind the girls, but inbetween them and I couldn't hear what he was saying, but within 20 seconds, HBBoston turns to me and says, "this is soooo weird!" Then, the chode's taller friend barrels in and pretends that he knows me. Clearly, these guys have studied pickup and are using some tactic they probably read on a forum somewhere. I basically ignored them and kept talking to the girls as if the guys were vapor. Then I got an idea and thought it'd be fun to toy with these guys a bit.

I get up from my stool and go to the short chode, who is sitting on a stool behind the girls. I motion for him to “excuse me” for a second and he gets up and I just take his stool…and the girls happily make room for me so I’m sitting between them. I chat with my target some more and we’re having a good time making fun of the chodes as they stood behind us. Fun times. After about two minutes, I just bounced my girls downstairs and got them away from these guys.

So, why did these guys fail? They came in with their own agenda without any regard for the women. All they cared about was accomplishing their objective. Some of you have heard of the idea of not being "outcome dependent" or "reaction-seeking." These concepts are basically cousins of the same idea: don't roll in with an agenda. Train yourself to approach and to recognize opportunities for escalation. When you roll in with this grand scheme, your mind is not in the moment but the future. While you're thinking of how to go from step A to B to sex, you're not even noticing the effect you're having on other people. Those guys truly creeped out those girls and continued plowing even as the girls and I had a blast making fun of them. How clueless can you be?

Something else happens when you drop your agenda: approaching becomes much easier. With no outcome in mind, you can focus on the women instead of worrying what may happen and which tactic you'd use to overcome it. When you master this skill, things will naturally progress in your favor.

Pick-Up Advice from 50 Cent & A Special Announcement

I'm sure some of you are wondering what a 50 Cent video is doing on a seduction blog. I've always believed that the best pickup advice comes not from women but from men who are already widely successful with women. The exception, of course, are the women of the Authentic Man Program, but they are a special breed.

Enter 50 Cent. Brash. Cocky. Talented. Sagacious. If anyone exudes the "badboy" persona, it's him. Perhaps you dislike rap music. You don't care for its misogynistic messages, foul language, drug references, murder chronicles, or you're just not a fan. That's fine. However, you can all learn from successful people, especially stars you may not like.

50 Cent, a.k.a. Curtis Jackson, has excelled in a cutthroat business where most pathetically fail. As a reward for his success, he has his pick of women, the adoration of millions, and more money than his baby's momma could ever hope to extract. He is a true pick-up guru: he picked up the planet back in 2003 and hasn't dropped it since. What makes him different? What makes him tick? What can we learn from him?

A recent interview with Askmen.com offers us a glimpse into his mindset. In particular, "Fitty" shares with us some pick-up advice:

Q-12: You’re known for being exceptionally popular with the ladies. Do you have any tips to share with our readers?

Just be confident. I think confidence is the most attractive part of a person. Because, I mean, if they’re not confident enough to show you who they are, you don’t even know who they are. You can’t meet ‘em, so I mean…

Another thing, try again -- especially when you’re at the introduction phase. You meet someone, you ask them out or whatever it is, if she says no, you see her another day, you ask her again.

You gotta be persistent, because I mean today, somebody might be doing the right thing, she could have a boyfriend, or somebody she thinks is promising, and then, it feels good, so she’s telling you no today. Then tomorrow, she’s not sure about him no more. And you ask again, and it’s like, “OK, yeah, we can go out.”

I wish I entered the game with a deeper understanding and awareness of the wisdom uttered in the above quote. Regular readers of this blog know how hiding behind routines and patterns will get you modest and pretty mediocre results. However, Fitty mentions a key aspect of pickup that is not emphasized enough: playful persistence. If I had a quarter for every time I gave up when a woman did not respond in a way I expected her to, I'd buy a mansion and move next door to Justin Timberlake (Scarlett Johansson "racks" my world!). Ironically, the very act of expecting anything was the reason for many of those rejections that reinforced my most destructive of my limiting beliefs.

Learn from 50: If you get a number or text and don't get an immediate response, keep calling and texting. Get creative. So many guys complain that their follow-up game is so poor yet fail to realize that every time they get a woman's digits is a new opportunity to practice and improve. They squander that opportunity by calling or texting once and giving up when she doesn't call back.

More importantly, another lesson that can be learned from Fitty's success is the importance of diversification. Most of you know that he's a famous rapper. Did you also know that he's a film star, entrepreneur, and record producer? Aside from creating G-Unit Records, he has a clothing and shoe line, a brand of Vitamin Water, a book series on inner city life including a best selling autobiography, and is even coming out with a condom line (Magic Stick condoms). What's the lesson to be learned here? He never allows his success to hinge on only one project. Even if his new rap cd flops, he'll still make plenty of money off his other projects.

Coming off the heals of this lesson, I have decided to leave the seduction community. No, I will abandon neither the game nor this blog. Rather, I am no longer going to immerse a great deal of my life into the pickup subculture. Relying predominantly on cold approaches to meet and seduce women is a tiring, ultimately unfulfilling process. Keeping your life balanced with plenty of hobbies prevents burnout, which is what I have been battling the past month or so.

There was a time that I actually had hobbies outside of seducing women. I was once into politics, Salsa dancing, going to the movies and comedy clubs, and wanted to learn Spanish and how to cook. Lately, as I look around, all I do is study for classes, head to work, study pickup, and do cold approaches. What happened to my social life?!

Time to take my life back! The other day, to symbolically and literally divorce myself from my old obsession, I grabbed my trash can and threw away all of my pickup CDs and DVDs. To my surprise, I realized that three years of stockpiling pickup products has resulted in a staggering collection of over 70 discs and thousands of unread ebooks. Even more amazing is that I've listened to each of the audio programs at least twice! It's amazing how I can take forever to read an ebook but can whip through audio and video programs like cool whip. I actually thought of giving some of that material away, but there's nothing I had that isn't readily available for illegal downloading anyway.

Since then, I've been immersing myself in new hobbies, including some of the old ones listed above with a special emphasis of bringing more female friends into my social circle. These friendships will include certain "benefits," of course. Like I said, I'm still very much in the game. I still enjoy hanging with my friends at bars and working the ladies, but developing solid social circle game will keep things fresh.

No more products. No more podcasts. No more pickup forums. There comes a certain point where the community goes from being a source of support to a crutch you can't live without. Don't make that mistake. Get what you can from the community, support each other, and push yourself to unearth those qualities that make you unique and wonderful - qualities you had all along, but were afraid to showcase. When you gain the confidence to approach women without fear, use that same courage to leave the community when the time is right. For me, it's time.

So, what does the future hold for me, particularly since it's September and Boston is about to be flooded with fresh college meat? Stay tuned. Like I said, I'll still be blogging...and I'll still be dicknotizing.