The best conversations occur over text messaging and right after sex.
The Dicknotist: My horoscope says that a cutie was thinking dirty thoughts about me the whole day today. You are a naughty girl. ;) [Using sexual tension right away. Credit to my wing, Steele].
Fuck Buddy: You're stalking me through the horoscopes now?! [I was so impressed with this reframe that I almost lost my focus. I honestly didn't have a comeback to this one and it detracted from where I wanted the convo to go (setting up sex), so I just cut the thread].
The Dicknotist: What're you up to tonight?
Fuck Buddy: Teaching dance lessons. I'm always busy :P [Typical, run-of-the-mill pretend you're busy 24/7 shit-test]
The Dicknotist: If you're gonna stick out your tongue, you better use it ;) [Fire back with sexual innuendo]
Fuck Buddy: You know I always do! Btw, this isn't the best time of the month for sex, but I can make arrangements. [Notice how quickly I sucked her into my sexual frame with just one line. Women are sexual perverts. Don't be afraid to use innuendo - it's a weapon].
The Dicknotist: Arrangements? I'm intrigued. [Giving her attention (approval) for sexually accommodating me]
Fuck Buddy: Us girls and our secrets
The Dicknotist: Oh, I definitely can't wait now! :) [Same idea...giving her attention/approval/validation for sexually accommodating me]
Fuck Buddy: Or...we can just cuddle
Cuddle?! WTF?! After nearly dropping my phone from laughing so hard and wondering if she's actually serious, I just cut the thread and regained the frame.
The Dicknotist: Quit while you're ahead. Just text me when you're free & we'll go from there. ttyl
There are two important concepts underlying this exchange. The first is warm dominance, where my internal state is independent of anything she does, says,or feels. My focus is on leading the interaction in the direction I want it to go - sex in this case. If a thread comes up that conflicts with or jeopardizes my frame, I either drop or reframe it. She verbalizes it herself - there's no ifs, ands, buts, or doubts that we're fucking. Leave the cuddle crap for chodes. Cuddling in addition to sex is fine, but never instead of sex. I graduated high school loooong ago.
Sex is common and expected in this day and age. This mindset underlies all my interactions with my sexual interests from approach to relationship maintenance. I developed it both from the DiClassified Drills bootcamp and after reading "Unhooked" by Laura Sessions Stepp. In fact, first date sex to me is what the first kiss is to most people - an expected and almost mandatory end to a first date. Making it crystal clear that sex is what you're after through sexual eye contact, innuendo, kino escalation, or most powerfully, a combination of all three makes sex happen more often. When you make your intentions clear, most women will try to please you, but only if you're giving approval rather than seeking it.
Approval-giving is the second important concept going on in the interaction. Many guys who study game continually make the mistake of seeking approval. They suffer from some combination of insecurities and look to the woman to tell them they're worthy. As a result, they often toss out empty compliments on their looks ("Wow! You could be a model!) or try to buy them ("Can I get you a drink?"). An important concept I learned in '07 is remembering that most people are more worried about how they come across to you than how you come across to them - especially women. How do you exploit this? Treat women like they're Pavlov's dogs: anytime they do something that pleases you, give approval. When they do something that displeases you, just cut the thread. Taking this concept one step further...my frame is the only way for her to gain my approval is through sex. Anything she does or says that is leading towards intercourse is rewarded (usually with affection or attention) and anything that conflicts with that goal is disregarded.
By the way, I was NOT thinking all of this as I was texting her and neither should you. I went back and realized I was doing all this stuff subconsciously. Just as in the spirt of the Drills bootcamp, practice these concepts on your own personal time, but ultimately when interacting with women, you want your head to be clear and spontaneous.
As 50 Cent would rap, "I'm gettin' sidetracked, now back to the story." Several hours later, she texts me as requested, we meet up, and we fuck like rabbits. Then comes the more interesting conversation - after sex.
In several of my old lay reports, I recall the girl warning me that she was on her period and going to the bathroom to do Lord knows what before she returned and I closed her. Now I know the truth! They were slipping on the Instead softcup! What in the world is that? The softcup's a feminine hygiene product that fits over the cervix and holds in a lot of the red mess that used to make sex-during-menstruation look like a crime scene. The website even advertises using it during intercourse: "Wearing INSTEAD Softcup during your period, you and your partner can enjoy 'clean sex' and he won't even feel it's there!" Well, not quite... I felt that I was rubbing against something. Still, beats the hand and porn any day. Now I know the truth...and so do you!
-The Dicknotist
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