There Is No Friend Zone!

Another day, another e-mail. This one comes from Andy who brings up a common myth I’d like to dispel.

Gday Dicknotist!

Have been an avid reader of your blog for a while now. I believe we share the same beliefs (regarding natural game) and are on the same path in regards to seduction, the only difference being you are miles ahead of me!

I particularly relate to what you said in a recent post - “After I got introduced to the community, I was a weird chode who got laid once in a blue moon, but learned all these dysfunctional behaviors…” - I guess that’s me in a nutshell!

Discounting the obvious approach rejections and number flakes I had yet to be properly rejected by a girl (post AFC life) until fairly recently. Naturally this shook me up a bit and made me look into what I had done wrong. With the help of a trustworthy female spy I found out something interesting - a scenario I was totally unprepared for. Thought you might be interested in hearing what happened and to ask your priceless advice.

The girl had just turned 19 (I’m 24) and it was clear from the start she was very inexperienced with boys (girls school, protective greek-australian family). We both work at a call centre, and the first time we sat beside each other we shared a fun lively conversation (between calls). I feel I’ve gotten quite good at initial rapport generation so it all got off to a perfect start. In that first week she’d give very encouraging signs such as seek out my eye contact, wave and smile when I’d leave, request to sit next to me (thankfully most guys there are stupid boring chodes with bad convo skills), and wait for me to walk to our cars together. I added her on Facebook and we had some great flowing conversations over a stretch of time.

Normally I’d go in for the kill quicker but seeing as I worked with this girl, and she was always so innocent I was happy to build up familiarity and friendship over the next couple of months (plus I was still dating another).

Just before christmas I asked her to come to dancing class with me (something we’d talked about), and she was up for it. Problem was the class had broken up for the year so I just improvised and we went to dinner and a bar from chocolate pizza. Everything about the date was perfect EXCEPT there was no sexual vibe…she seemed almost virginal and I struggled trying to overcome that hurdle.

Second date, we ended up attending the dancing class…LOTS of positive kino here and she did enjoy herself hugely. But after getting some ice cream, her vibe shifted full circle….she seemed awkward, uncomfortable, disinterested, avoided eye contact, and kept a certain distance that prevented me from making that first kiss. I was bemused! The date fizzled, and feeling that I shouldn’t have to chase or pursue any further to seal the deal, we parted ways without so much as a hug.

Unsurprisingly she flaked after this, and the poor girl was too scared to face me at work in the weeks after.

The female friend got the full story out of me, asserted that the other girl was a bitch for flaking (lying about being busy) and insisted she find out more details.

So here’s the revelation….BEFORE she met me, she had built up an extreme schoolgirl crush for one of the supervisors at work. In her words she was “MADLY in love” despite rarely speaking to him. The guy is average looks but has long rocker hair, rocker clothes and that whole cool calm muso vibe about him. I can respect his ability to pull with this image.
The girl had been so obsessed that she clammed up around him (showing her inexperience with men).

So when I came along, I was able to break her out of her shell with meaningful convo (she’s initially very quiet with everyone), but because the crush was already established she wasn’t paying attention to what I could offer her. I was subconsciously friend zoned from the start (something i remember doing once as an AFC with a mega crush on a girl, all others seemed invisible). She also told my female friend that she never liked me “in that way”

So my question is how do you combat this phenomenon?! Young girls fresh out of a school are a different breed, with different and less than logical pre-conceived ideas about love and dating. Especially the protected and “unsullied” ones :p I obviously had no idea about the crush…
Ramping up from easy-going conversationalist to display of sexual intent is definitely my flaw, but did I need to generate stronger animal attraction right from the word go (even in the inappropriate environment of the workplace)? Have you been able to identify and kill the crushes of teen girls?

Interested to hear your thoughts and happy fucking!

Andy

Andy,

As Britney Spears would say, she’s “not that innocent.” At 19, she’s spent the past nine years of her life dreaming on being penetrated by a powerful male. Don’t deny her what she wants!

1) How do you avoid the “friend zone?” I’ll let you in on a little secret: there is no friend zone! The friend zone is an illusion. Some chode back in the day made it up to explain what happens when he tries to seduce a woman without asserting his sexuality, which is like trying to fly without an airplane.

You reap what you sow. If you spend months “[building] up familiarity and friendship,” how can you be surprised that you’d end up with a friendship? If you want a sexual relationship, get comfortable with getting sexual as early as possible. You should have laid her that first week when she was “[giving] very encouraging signs such as [seeking] out [your] eye contact, [waving] and [smiling] when [you’d] leave, [requesting] to sit next to [you]…and [waiting] for [you] to walk to [your] cars together.” A window of opportunity opened up and you failed to walk through it. If you ask her months later, of course she’ll say she always saw you as a friend. For a woman, what she feels is how it is. She reasons that she’s always seen you as a friend because that’s all she ever felt from you: a friendship. The other guy succeeded where you failed because he made her feel sexual, not even by what he did, but simply by who he was.

2) How do you seduce a sexually inexperienced girl? Did you read my last LR? The first girl clearly falls into this category and it’s a real life example of how to handle them. You can lay them in two ways. You can build up comfort so that she feels comfortable enough to act on her sexual desires. If you recall, I foolishly tried that and it got me nowhere. From past experience, it’ll work after about 7 hours or so, but boy is that a long time. Practitioners of this method even come up with strange concepts like “venue-changing” to trick the girl into thinking they’ve spent more time together and been on more dates than they actually have. Why? Building true trust takes time, but why do it artificially when you can do it after sex, when she’s the most emotionally open and vulnerable?

Compliance, on the other hand, builds trust rapidly, naturally, and consistently. Think about it: when you do things for others, you naturally trust them more. At the bare minimum, you trust that they won’t take advantage of your generosity. If you’re doing them a favor, you must like them and of course, you are more likely to trust people you like. Notice in my lay report how I had her drive me to my car and then had her drive us back to her place. I had her travel farther than me for our Day2. For our Day3, I had her cook us a dinner and buy us a movie to watch (which I later use to seduce a girl the next night). What does that do psychologically? She is an active participant in the seduction. She has a vested interest in the seduction succeeding, which is exactly why compliance kills LMR. In the end, I laid everything on the line and was willing to walk away from her, except she found it virtually impossible to let me go because she put so much work into the whole affair. As we all know, she didn’t and has since been emailing me from her vacation, letting me know how much she can’t wait to meet up again and fuck my brains out. So, in short, always keep the girl working, even after the seduction.

3) What should you have done to seduce this girl in particular? For your situation in particular, remember that there are generally two types of girls: one type is highly sexual, reciprocates kino and sexual eye contact, and when alone, acts on her sexual desires. Another type requires more trust before she will act on her sexual desires. Most 19-year-old girls like your girl are generally sexually inexperienced and fit into the latter group. Young guys are highly insecure and hardly trustable, so the girls overcome this requirement by getting plastered enough to allow themselves to be sexual. The easiest way to have laid her was to do what all the other college boys do. Take her and her friends out to a party and get the whole group totally smashed. Then, just offer to take her home (or just take her home). From there, well, you know what to do.

-The Dicknotist