Bring 'Em Out! Bring 'Em Out!

This morning, I asked my gf if she's on any social networking sites after unsuccessfully looking her up on MySpace and Facebook. To my surprise, she showed me an ancient account on Friendster dating back almost ten years . She then googled me and sure enough, there I was in all my chode glory, complete with 80 extra pounds, oversized glasses, and a chodely grin that made me want to smack it right off my face.

That account must be at least eight years old and existed well before I ever heard of MySpace or Facebook. Surprised that Friendster still exists, I googled it to learn of its history and was amused to learn that the founder used it as a way of meeting women.

Jonathan Abrams was your typical, horny computer nerd who probably spent more time playing Dungeons and Dragons than learning how to seduce the opposite sex. Indeed, the closest he got to a pussy was when he was born.

One day, he got a brilliant idea. He somehow realized that most people meet sexual partners through their social circle, but his dorky, Asperger-prone pals hardly knew of any hot women outside of a porn site. Somehow, he brilliantly exploited women's greatest weakness to bring them to him...and millions of other nerds. He exploited the female gender's insatiable need for attention. He founded what eventually became Friendster and has since become known as the the guy who turned down a cool $30 million for it. But hey, he started the venture not to make millions, but to score some tail.

“Basically,” said Mark J. Pincus, a seed investor of Friendster, in the New York Times, “Jonathan wanted to meet girls.” And as if that didn’t sell poor Jonathan down the river enough, Pincus added, “He told me himself, he started Friendster as a way to surf through his friends’ address books for good-looking girls.”

If you look up almost any account on most social networking sites, especially MySpace, you'll see millions of women pampering their pages with weird fluorescent-colored designs, song lists, sexy videos, silly quizzes, and a whole host of other forms of mind-numbing hilarity. Yet, these sites serve two purposes. Women get to pretend that they're mini-celebs with all the electronic friends they make while guys get to befriend them and troll their friend list for poon.

Whenever social networking began, it must've started with Friendster. Who knows if Abrams succeeded in living the P.I.M.P. lifestyle of his dreams. Regardless, he does illustrate an important lesson for us all. Some of history's greatest ideas were started by frustrated men looking to get laid. Use your talents to create a life where the women come to you. "Bring 'em out!" Don't worry about the money. Whenever you can help men get laid, there are riches to be made.

-The D