The above video is a great parody that rivals that silly SNL skit that has Bill Clinton dress up as the world’s most famous pick-up magician. The video also raises an interesting question. Do you have to treat women like crap in order to be successful with them? Well, it certainly seems that way.
Everywhere you turn, the same mantra echoes through the media and personal experience. On the surface, women say they want a loving, nurturing, communicative nice guy but in practice, they often go for the wild, rebellious, outrageous bad boys. We’re all aware of this double standard, but is it true?
Anytime a question like this arises, always go back to the fundamentals. Despite what you’ve read in articles, books, forums, and studies, there are three surefire ways to attract hot women:
1) Status - Being rich, famous, or important in some way. Have you seen Donald Trump’s wife?! “MILF, MILF, MILF!!”
2) Looks - being good-looking like George Clooney, Denzel Washington, or (the late) Heath Leger
3) Sex - clearly and powerfully communicate that you’ll fuck her like no one else can.
What about confidence? Well, if you’re in any of the categories above, you’re at least confident of attracting women. Getting to #1 often takes time, work, and sacrifice. Some people shortcut their way by entering sports or entertainment, but most people don’t become financially stable, much less wealthy, till they’re at least in their thirties and forties, if not later. Colonel Sanders was a pauper until he started selling Kentucky Fried Chicken…at age 65. So, you can just work hard, amass your cash, and wait, but that’s a long time to wait for sex! #2, you’re pretty much born with it or you’re not. Sure, you can improve your looks with plastic surgery, cosmetics, a good wardrobe, and grooming, but ultimately, there’s so much you can do. Save the looks obsession for the ladies. #3 is pretty universal. Everyone craves sex. All you have to do is cultivate a strong libido and proudly put it on display. Make no attempt to hide your sexual interest; give it to her full force and without apology. My experience has been that women often reciprocate; it’s logistics, if anything, that get in the way. #3 is all about sexual confidence, which underlies Dicknotism. It’s effective and can be universally applied.
This discussion brings us back to the original question: do you have to treat women like crap in order to be successful with them? It’s unnecessary. Instead of thinking of “nice guys and badboys,” think “asexual” and “sexual.” Badboys feel that they can abuse and take advantage of women because as long as they rock her world in bed, she’ll put up with it. They’re right. You can get away with murder and much worse with women if you can make her cum so hard, her toes curl in new directions.
Think of it this way: you cannot expect to progress things to sex without making her horny in the same way that you’ll have a hard time attracting people to your restaurant if you don’t open the windows, give them a whiff of your food, and make them hungry. McDonald’s actually invests large sums of money into research on how to build their exhaust systems so that the smell of their fries can reach people’s noses as they drive-by. Not surprisingly, those same people get hungry and step in for a bite to eat.
Continuing the analogy, I’m sure many of you have been in a situation where you’re hungry and go to a crappy McDonald’s in the middle of the night because everything else is closed. You may even encounter a cashier who barely speaks English. Does that deter you from ordering your Quarter Pounder With Cheese? Nope. You’re hungry, they have food, and you buy it in spite of their bad service…not because of it. In the same way, badboys attract women in spite of treating them poorly, not because of it. They’re only doing so well with the ladies because they project their sexual interest and have no competition. Nice guys fail not because they’re nice, but because they’re asexual.
I often hear people in the community say, “don’t be yourself. Be your best self.” The Dicknotist says, “be yourself…be your sexual self…” and fuck her in the ass!
Overall, I enjoyed the film, A Beautiful Mind, but there was always one scene that got under my skin. As you can see in the above video, John Nash as played by Russel Crowe applies mathematical principles to pick-up. We've all seen this scenario before: there's an attractive woman (a hot blonde in this case) surrounded by a bunch of her less attractive friends. In the scene, while the guys scheme on how to win the hot blonde over, Nash has his "a ha" moment, arguing that approaching the blonde guarantees failure. They'll all sabotage (AMOG) each other as they each fight to take her home. If they approach her friends, they'll still go home alone as no one likes to be 2nd choice. He then reasons that the best solution is to ignore the blonde completely and go straight for her friends. His theory makes sense, which is precisely why it's dead wrong. There's no logic to women.
Many guys, unless they're drunk, take Nash's approach and settle for who they can get rather than go after who they really want. That results in very few guys going for the hot women and the majority of guys going for middle and low-tier women. Yet those 20% of guys who go after the hot women actually end up fucking 80% of all women whereas the guys who settle fight over the middle and low-tier women. Why is that? Human nature.
Once in a while, researchers come out with a study that's not only useful, but jives with my real-world experience.
In a study of speed daters, Paul W. Eastwick and Eli J. Finkel, PhD, of Northwestern University, found that people who selected a large number of candidates for follow-up meetings were less likely to be picked themselves for another round. People who chose only a few contenders were more successful in getting attention and responses. It turns out that singles who show interest in every partner they encounter may come off not as eager and open but as just plain desperate.
"What's interesting about that is it actually differs from platonic liking," says Finkel. "In nonromantic contexts, if I like everybody, then everybody likes me back. After all, who doesn't like the guy who likes everybody? But in a romantic context, if I say, 'Yeah, she's hot! And she's hot…and she's hot…and that other girl over there is hot, too,' there's now hard statistical evidence that, in general, the women I meet will not find me sexually desirable."
Does this mean that grandmothers who've warned single women not to be too picky have been wrong? "I don't think your grandma meant, 'You have to go on dates with everybody under every circumstance,'" says Finkel. "But in a situation in which there are a bunch of eligible men, like a party, be selective." Finkel warns against interpreting this data as an invitation to sit home or play hard to get: "What you want to do is be easy for one person to get and hard for everyone else, which will increase the likelihood of that one person's liking you."
Chicks dig guys with high standards because that attitude communicates high status. If you're willing to settle in your love life, you're probably willing to settle in all areas of your life and that, my friends, is not attractive. What girl wants to brag to her girlfriends that she scored the desperate guy?! The moral of the story: go for the girl(s) you want and you'll probably end up attracting the others anyway.
Porn fans everywhere who caught the AVN Awards were saddened to hear Jenna Jameson announce her retirement.
"Honesty is key. I will never, ever, ever spread my legs again in this industry again. Ever!"
In response, I issue the following open letter to Jenna:
Jenna, Jenna, Jenna...what happened to you? I remember watching your first adult film with Randy West. You were only 18 and you did it just to piss off your cheating, biker boyfriend. Your performance was hot, intense, and unforgettable. When you ended the scene with a cream pie, porn consumers everywhere were instantly hooked. Since then, you've blazed a trail through the sex industry, putting Wicked Pictures on the map, starting your own porn company (Club Jenna), and signing your likely successor, Krystal Steal. You even penned "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star (with some help from Neil Strauss) which became a New York Times best-seller.
Then, you turned 30 and went Britney Spears on us. You lost Krystal Steal. You got married and divorced, losing much of your fortune to a talentless hack. You ended up having to sell Club Jenna to Playboy, a soft-core company. The beautiful DD bombs that blessed the computer screens of millions got removed by a total butcher of a surgeon. From the looks of the pic below, your tit looks more like a bomb went off in there. You also appear to be addicted to meth again as your weight is so low, you look like you're fighting a terminal illness. Tanning's cool, but orange?! What happened to Jenna's skin? Did it dry up like a raisin in the sun?
I have a theory on the life evolution of women. When they enter puberty and sprout those tits and ass we all love, they receive all this attention from men and quickly learn how much power and influence they can exert by exploiting their sexuality. I imagine it's like giving a million dollars to a child who has no clue what to do with it. So, those teen years for them are tumultuous and confusing, but they also learn how to fine tune their sensuality. Their attractiveness peaks around age 21 where they go buck wild and milk their looks for everything they're worth. Who could blame them? I'd do the same thing. Wouldn't you?
Then those late 20s start creeping up and they're in either one of two boats. Group 1 had kids really young, divorced (or never got married), and spend most of their days trolling Match.com and having endless hook-ups. Group 2 has been going buck wild for a damn long time and are finally looking to settle down because the biological clock is ticking. There's only one problem for both camps: the 30s are coming.
There's something about turning 30 that makes many women snap. Imagine amassing all this wealth over the years to suddenly discover that your bank has sprung a leak and you're losing thousands of dollars every day. What would you do? I imagine a similar panic happens when the 30-year-old woman compares herself with the 20-year-hottie and realizes that her looks are fading. She'll do everything she can to relive her glory days by purchasing all these anti-aging creams, slapping on a pound of makeup, and engaging in cosmetic enhancements from botox to face lifts. Ultimately, her efforts fail and she realizes that she better get a husband...while she still can. Certainly, there are exceptions to this rule, such as Heather Locklear or Halle Berry. They're old and still so damn hot.
Still, for the average woman, hittin the 30s while she's still single is a time of great misery and desperation, despite the bunk they promote on Sex & The City. So, I wasn't surprised to see Jenna self-destruct the past few years following her divorce. There is some happy news, though. Her autobiography is being made into a movie, starring Scarlett Johansson in all her blonde, buxom goodness. Scarlett as the world's most famous porn queen?! 2008's off to a great start!
I was looking for some info on the AMP program and came across your site. I was looking for some insight as to how the Advance AMP course went. You approved of their first course, but how do you feel about their second course?
Thanks, C
Wow. I've been so preoccupied with Authentic Boston that I actually forgot to write a review of Advanced AMP. In hindsight, I'm glad I waited a few months since I've taken the course have allowed me the opportunity to reflect and see the experience from a more balanced perspective.
Aside from being a massive Batman fan, there is something about the theme of the new film that especially resonates with me. Escalation. The term implies taking something to a new level. Batman Begins tells the story of the origin of Bruce Wayne and how he had to overcome his insecurities, namely his fear of bats and his incessant obsession with revenge, to become a legend - someone who inspires people with new hope. The sequel addresses an issue Wayne never anticipated: encountering a villain more dangerous, more theatrical, and more deadly than anyone he's encountered before. The bad guys didn't go away; they just got tougher...and crazier. The same analogy holds true for me and my inner game issues. Unquestionably, my game went to new heights during 2007, but it also included new hurts and new challenges, some of which are contained in the archives of this blog.
Inner game issues are especially insidious because they are so well hidden. Let's take a fictional guy named Jamal. Jamal 's problem is he believes women are out to hurt him because of a few bad experiences he had during his youth. Naturally, he's afraid to approach because he thinks girls will cruelly reject and humiliate him. Perhaps after reading some material and giving himself enough of a pep talk, he starts approaching girls and getting digits, but they don't return his calls because, in his mind, they just want to mess with him and make him feel like crap. Eventually, he'll start getting dates, but the girl may say something that makes him suspicious, like "so, what do you do [for work?]" Certainly, he thinks, she must be appraising him of his money to take advantage of him financially. You can imagine how poorly such dates go. After a long while and with a few more routines under his belt, he starts getting laid, but the women don't stick around. Damn! Yep, they must have set out to lead him on just to leave and swipe at his heart. Even if he gets a gf or two, he drives himself nuts with jealousy because when they're out in public, guys hit on her and when he does not hear from her for a few days, thoughts of her fucking other guys swirl in his head.
So, what's the moral of the story here? To Jamal, he sees each stage of difficulty in his journey as a new "sticking point." With more techniques, he'll be able to approach, get solid numbers, make a date end in sex, and overcome his jealous behavior. What he is blind to see is that the same core insecurity is manifesting itself over and over and over again in novel ways. As he conquers each stage, he thinks he's over his issues. In truth, the insecurity escalates along with his success. He learns how he should respond to get what he wants in a particular situation, but the insecurity will rear its head in a different one, sort of like that arcade game where you bop the head of the alligator only to find that it just pops out of another hole. Until his inner game issues are resolved, he will never be at peace. I chose to do Advanced AMP to deal with this escalation. Regular AMP unearths and exposes these issues, which is overwhelming in of itself; Advanced AMP helps you process and resolve them.
Those of you who are familiar with AMP know the usual format. The event takes place over three days, where on the first two, you work with the men of the course and on the third day, they bring in the ultra-perceptive women. As the name suggests, this program goes much deeper than regular AMP where the intense circling exercises are twice as long and go much deeper. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the AMP lexicon, "circling" is a practice where you break down into small groups and the AMP facilitator(s) and fellow participants work with you to expose and work through those unresolved issues that are holding you back in achieving real, true self-confidence. In regular AMP, these exercises usually run 20-45 min. each. In Advanced AMP, the time jumps from a minimum of 45 min. to a peak of 90 min. on the last day when you work with one of the AMP women.
As you can see, there is no running or hiding because the amount of personal attention you receive is intense! That's also why when I say "this work isn't for everyone," I'm not kidding. A tremendous amount of emotional upheaval is revealed in these circling exercises. In addition, for those of you who have issues you truly do not want to deal with or aren't ready to encounter head-on, you may find yourself taking on too much, too soon. With that said, here are just a few of the highlights.
One particularly fun day was the first night when the facilitators revealed to us that we were "going out" on the subway. The revelation was a sweet, early twist as regular AMP does not involve any daytime work. The exercise was simple: we hop on one of the trains and just laugh uncontrollably. They teach that at the heart of approach anxiety is some level of shame we have about ourselves that we are afraid to reveal. If we had no shame, there would be no anxiety. We'd be totally disinhibited, like the little kid who will scream and holler uncontrollably in a store when his parents don't buy him the toy he wants. Do you think he feels any shame in throwing a tantrum in public?! No! By the same token, you shouldn't feel any shame in approaching and engaging women.
The exercise is meant to have you act disinhibited and witness where you shut down in the face of the disapproval of others. Actually, most people didn't seem to care much and I got a lil bored after 10 minutes of it, until some woman bellowed, "Excuse me! You're going to disturb my baby!!" Oh, I felt the social pressure and I felt like running under the covers! Decker just motioned for us to go out to the other end of the train car because, of course, we didn't want to disturb a sleeping baby. She actually flipped out again and my anxiety was so high at that point that it wasn't until after the exercise that I noticed the obvious: "You know, it's a amazing that baby was able to sleep with her screaming her head off right over his head!"
Then it was time for some public circling, except we remain in a big group. As we each got in the middle of the circle, we had to yell, "Ahhhhh" to the group and display our masculine power. Out of context, this may seem strange. The point is that there's a great deal you reveal about yourself when placed in anxiety-provoking situations. i.e. The same guy who seems well put together at the office falls apart when he's in a bar, talking to a hot woman. By the time I was in the middle, there was a curious, excited crowd of about 40 people wondering what the heck we were doing. People walked by, stopped, and watched as if they were rubber necking a traffic accident.
The facilitators and co-participants called out what they noticed about me during the previous exercise. "You seem smaller!" "Where's your power?!" "You hide behind your humor!" Bingo! Funny, I remember opening a lawyer in a bar about two years ago who said the same exact thing. At the time, her comments flew over my head because I was more concerned with dropping the next entertaining phrase than just enjoying myself. Well, there's no holding back now. I got present, dug down deep, and let 'em have it to cheers and applause. Then, Decker upped the ante. "Now, turn around and do it to the crowd behind you." I turned and I was able to hold my presence for a lil bit, but then lost it, going back to my funny, nice guy persona. Damn! He didn't give up though. He asked the crowd if they wanted to see me unleash my power which then prompted enthusiastic cheering, yelling, and encouragement. So, with an audience of 50-60 strangers at this point and my AMP brothers behind me giving their support, I took a few deep breaths and gave them my worst! The adrenaline was off the charts. I literally could feel the blood running across from veins from my eyes all the way down my thighs to my tippy toes. What a rush! Cocaine ain't got shit on AMP! I did it...and I lived! Not only did I live, but they loved me for it! Reveal your true, honest self and people are moved to support you...to help you...to love you. How's that for a paradigm shift?
On another memorable night, we dine at a swanky, upscale restaurant called "The Supper Club," which gives me all the evidence in the world that San Francisco is the strangest city on the planet. They say Boston is the most liberal city in the Union while Amsterdam may be the most libertine on the planet. Having grown up in the former and visiting and absolutely loving the latter, I can say uneqivicoally that if Boston fucked Amsterdam, San Francisco would be their slutty daughter addicted to weed and coke. We enter the Supper Club and I'm greeted by this hideous blonde who wants to take my coat. As I sternly refuse, I do a double take and realize that she's actually a man dressed in drag. We are taken upstairs where I soon realize that the restaurant is two floors and the top floor has no tables or chairs...just beds. If it wasn't for the $100-a-head price tag, I would make this place my default Day2 location. Screw bouncing to somewhere else...all you need is a sheet or two. Intermittently, we are treated to a strange play featuring opera singers acting out stabbing a doll and people dressed as clowns dry humping members of the audience. To top it off, the show ends with the original blonde in drag stripping down buck naked and walking off to the applause of the crowd. The experience was unique and unforgettable, but not as surreal as what else happened that night. One of the facilitators, who is married, invites me to talk to a chick he picked up at some coffee shop...and yes, she is ripe! As I am talking to her, I am in disbelief, not over her, but over his relationship situation. To witness the working of an open marriage where each person is 100% open and honest about who the other person is seeing and what they're doing with them takes things to a new level. I have read all types of mystical promises online of mLTRs and juggling a bazillion girlfriends at once, but to actually meet the real deal in real life blows open what I think is possible.
Enter Day 3, an entire day of pure circling and pure vulnerability. What better way to work on your insecurities with women, than to work with women?! I worked with the lovely Liyana Silver who sensed that I hid a great deal of my anger and power behind my smile, a recurrent theme of the week-end. Of course, she was right as there have been some past experiences that still evoke a thirst for vengeance. In a surprising move, she placed her hands on my chest and encouraged me to let out my fury. I, on the other hand, had other ideas and was not comfortable exposing it. I'm not sure what I'd do if I did... Plan B. They made me stand up and each of the facilitators held back my arms as she exhibited some of her own anger and encouraged me to let it out. After a few feeble complaints, everything gushed out like a broken water main. "I'm sick of all the silly games you guys play!" "Why can't you just be honest?!" "Why can't you just love me?!" On and on the statements came and up spiked the adrenaline. Boy did I feel so damn amazing to express it freely and safely. The point is not to vent, which hardly helps, but to become comfortable with my anger and integrate it in a healthy way. I'm not even sure how much time passed, but I did notice something more important at the end. I told her, "I trust you more now." I trusted all of them more because I felt comfortable being myself. Tossing out your social mask and just being totally honest and authentic is incredibly freeing. The response of one of the facilitators was equally compelling: "You know what? I trust you a lot more too."
At the end of the program, I addressed everyone from the facilitators to the other Advanced AMP participants: "I am so deeply privileged to be in this room with all of you. When people ask what love is, this is love...right here, in this room with all of you. Thank you. Thank you so much!" It was at that moment that I realized that such a support is not available anywhere close to the East Coast. Self-confidence is challenging when we often receive messages all around us that encourage people to be someone they're not in the vain hope of getting something. When they don't get that "thing" they're after, feelings of anger, frustration, and much worse settle in. I've been there and I am very fortunate to have discovered AMP. That's why I am moved and inspired to bring AMP to Boston...to give...to give what few people can offer: a choice to develop a life of authenticity...to be empowered to be yourself and to claim your desires without apology...to take your relating with women to new depths.
So, that's my experience. I sure it is different and unique for everyone who is brave enough to go on that journey. Advanced AMP for me was more than a week-end. It was a potentially life-altering experience. As you can imagine, I'd give this program 4 out of 4 stars. There is nothing else out there that is even close to building inner game as this program. If you can afford it, just do it. If you're in or near Boston, shoot me an email. ;)
Once again, The Dicknotist sifts through the fluff and makeup advice of the nation’s #1 magazine for women and pulls out the gems that are useful for pick-up. Accordingly, what article is more useful for seduction…than an article on seduction! I find it useful to hear things from the other side. So, without further ado:
You're feeling sexier than ever, but for some reason, you're not getting any sex. What's wrong with this picture? Wait! Please don't go look in the mirror for the answer. You're perfect — the only thing wrong with you is that you're waiting for some sexy guy to come along and seduce you when you should be out there taking care of business yourself.
You want sex? Great! Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it. Now you need to know how to entice men into doing the deed. And you can. You can be a seductress. Men will love you for it.
Think of what becoming a seduction superstar will do for you. "An active seduction can really make a woman feel good about herself," says psychologist Lonnie Barbach, PhD, and author of Turn-ons: Pleasing Your Lover While You Please Yourself (Plume, 1998). "Because when you seduce, it's really a dance: One person puts something out; the other person receives and volleys back. And that kind of attention and positive response can really enhance self-esteem."
So get out there and do some damage! Oh, wait, one more thing before you get started: Seduction is not about getting anyone to marry you. It's about getting men into bed. Which, luckily, is much easier and generally more fun (no commitment issues, no cooking, absolutely no parents to meet). On the next pages, we've listed plenty of seduction strategies — and ranked them from not-so-scary to proceed-at-your-own-risk — to launch you on your way to becoming a seduction expert.
Click here to continue reading seduction tips from Cosmopolitan Magazine.
Everybody loves a comeback and Hillary Clinton pulled off a whopper of an upset in the New Hampshire Primary the other night. For the blissfully uninformed, Clinton has been the presumed Democratic presidential nominee for the last several years. Up until a month ago, she had been far ahead of all her competitors in the national polls and appeared invincible...until the Iowa caucus. In a stunning defeat, she finished third behind Barack Obama and John Edwards. Of course, we all know the power of social proof and accordingly, Obama leapfrogged ahead of her in the polls. In fact, polling results released just before the New Hampshire Primary showed Obama ahead of Clinton by as many as 10 points. The problem is, he actually lost to her by 2. What happened?!
The media loves to promote controversy to boost ratings and raise ad revenue and speculation has been rampant:
1) CNN has promoted the theory that white voters were reluctant to admit to pollsters that they wouldn't vote for Obama, an African American man. Out of some anxiety over being seen as or feeling racist, some white voters said they planned to vote for Obama even though they had no intention of doing so. This theory is provocative and compelling, but hardly consistent. The Iowa Caucus polls were right on the money, as were the polls depicting the 2006 gubernatorial election in MA that featured Deval Patrick, an African American male, and Kerry Healey, a white female. Is there something special about New Hampshire voters?
2) Another possible theory is that a lot of polling companies still rely on calling landline phone numbers. However, many people, particularly younger voters, are increasingly using cell phones exclusively. I am actually in this group as I haven't had a landline phone in four years. Polling results may lose accuracy if there is a difference in the voting patterns of people who still use landlines vs. those who do not. To circumvent this issue, pollsters are using calling machines that generate and dial phone numbers randomly. Though the problem is minimized with this technique, many cell phone users have area codes that are different from those that are standard for their state because people move around. This issue is particularly true in New Hampshire, which has had a huge influx of Massachusetts residents over the past decade. Getting a truly random sample is challenging. Still, can this problem explain the 12 point discrepancy on Tuesday night?
My theory is the polls were correct; the Clinton camp simply pulled off a dramatic turnaround in 48 hours. How did they do it? They exploited the 19th Amendment.
If you ever doubted the power of authenticity to move women, watch the above video for a reality-shattering experience. In a rare moment of vulnerability, the former First Lady's eyes welled up after someone asked her how she copes with the extreme stress of the political campaign. That moment was all that was needed to transfer Obama's Oprah-fueled support of women over to Hillary who connected with female voters by dropping her guard.
Sound crazy? None of this is rooted in science, reason, or logic. Women are not moved by facts, figures, or polls, but by emotions. Yes, social proof helps, but it pales in effect to authenticity. They crave it, they flock to it, and they vote for it - even over the objections of Oprah.
I'm certain her husband has been encouraging her to reveal her more warm and personable side. He "gets it;" he knows on a deep level how to connect with women. He knows that they have a fundamentally different understanding of emotions (in general) than men do.
Men see crying as weakness; women see crying as frustration. In fact, the next time you are with a woman who is crying, reflect her back by saying, "it's frustrating." You'll be surprised by her response. They are merely releasing their emotions, but everything is still ok. Men think there's a problem that needs to be fixed and then create an issue when there never was one. I remember listening to male media heads griping that her crying was disturbing, arguing that she may not be tough enough to handle the rigors of the general presidential election or the foreign policy nightmare the next president will inherit from "Dubya." Women didn't see it that way. They were moved and inspired to help out, not condemn.
So, what can we learn from the Clintons? Reveal some vulnerability to draw women toward you and compel to want to help out. After they do, be a gentleman and reward her with the cock she craves. ;)
I got another update from Black Bush not too long ago that allows the perfect segue into a topic I haven't covered before: opening.
Hey Dicknotist!
I'm late on the progress report, but it's the holiday season so I wanted to give you a break.
Anyways ... Whew! That eye contact thing was harder than expected. I'm still perfecting it, seeing what exactly works and doesn't. I had never noticed it before but very few people actively make eye contact. It's somewhat like you have to "catch" them. Societal pressure I guess. No one wants to look "stalkerish" by staring at folks.
At first, I was acting kinda scary, LOL. I'd look, they'd look back then I'd turn away. I wasn't comfortable with it. But gradually over time, I started holding the gaze longer. Initiated a few convos, nothing major. It's a huge comfort barrier to leap over. But I started, and am still starting to get the hang of it. Combine that with conveying sexual emotions through the eyes is tough, but I've seen it can work. Especially being comfortable with those feelings, not thinking it's wrong or being disrespectful in my own psyche. Just gotta perfect it to a T. (BTW what is a 'T' anyways? What does 'T' stand for? I've always wondered that but could never figure it out).
Oh, by the way. My body language and confidence are slowly getting much better. People are starting to comment, still have some things to work out out though.
Well, with that. I hope your holidays are going great.
So, what's next?
Thanks man. My holidays rocked. After seeing the film, Sideways, I was inspired to travel back to CA and go wine tasting with the family. Twas a sweet time!
What's next? Well, first of all, don't forget what you've already learned. Each new mission just builds on what came before it. Since you're already initiating conversations, let's roll from there.
Opening is no big deal these days, but it was easily the hardest part of the game for me. I remember first hearing about pick-up from David DeAngelo's Double Your Dating e-book way back in perhaps 2002, before he even published a second edition. I went on to get his Advanced Dating Series CD set a few weeks later and had my mind blown, but it took me about eight months to muster up the balls to actually approach a girl. Even then, I was frustrated cause the conversations rarely lasted past a minute, if that. Try this:
When you open a girl, ask her for a small request, such as passing you a napkin if you're in a bar or passing you a book if you're at a bookstore. When she complies, smile, lightly and briefly touch her on the arm, and then proceed into conversation.
Opening in this manner does a few things.
1) It trains you to have the girl put in as much, if not more effort into the interaction as you do. When I read "Get Anyone to Do Anything" by David J. Lieberman a few years ago, I learned a concept that blew my mind. I grew up thinking that if you want someone to like you, you do things for them. Psychology research has found the opposite to be true: if you want someone to like you, you get them to do things for you (or allow them to do things for you if they offer)! You may have a hard time with this concept if you're the type of guy who hates to ask others for help. It'll take some getting used to, but for me, this practice has been the most effective in hooking, eviscerating LMR, and keeping her around.
2) It gives kino escalation an actual context. Touch builds comfort. You want her to get used to your touch so that sex feels and becomes natural later on. However, touch is also communication between your sexual core and hers. Make sure the message is crystal clear: do things for me and you'll be rewarded with attention, physical affection, and of course, sex.
Remember, this is just an exercise. The point isn't to focus on what you say or develop this into any consistent technique, but to help you develop the right mindset. Think of it as flexing a new mental muscle.
The best conversations occur over text messaging and right after sex.
The Dicknotist: My horoscope says that a cutie was thinking dirty thoughts about me the whole day today. You are a naughty girl. ;) [Using sexual tension right away. Credit to my wing, Steele].
Fuck Buddy: You're stalking me through the horoscopes now?! [I was so impressed with this reframe that I almost lost my focus. I honestly didn't have a comeback to this one and it detracted from where I wanted the convo to go (setting up sex), so I just cut the thread].
The Dicknotist: If you're gonna stick out your tongue, you better use it ;) [Fire back with sexual innuendo]
Fuck Buddy: You know I always do! Btw, this isn't the best time of the month for sex, but I can make arrangements. [Notice how quickly I sucked her into my sexual frame with just one line. Women are sexual perverts. Don't be afraid to use innuendo - it's a weapon].
The Dicknotist: Arrangements? I'm intrigued. [Giving her attention (approval) for sexually accommodating me]
Fuck Buddy: Us girls and our secrets
The Dicknotist: Oh, I definitely can't wait now! :) [Same idea...giving her attention/approval/validation for sexually accommodating me]
Fuck Buddy: Or...we can just cuddle
Cuddle?! WTF?! After nearly dropping my phone from laughing so hard and wondering if she's actually serious, I just cut the thread and regained the frame.
The Dicknotist: Quit while you're ahead. Just text me when you're free & we'll go from there. ttyl
There are two important concepts underlying this exchange. The first is warm dominance, where my internal state is independent of anything she does, says,or feels. My focus is on leading the interaction in the direction I want it to go - sex in this case. If a thread comes up that conflicts with or jeopardizes my frame, I either drop or reframe it. She verbalizes it herself - there's no ifs, ands, buts, or doubts that we're fucking. Leave the cuddle crap for chodes. Cuddling in addition to sex is fine, but never instead of sex. I graduated high school loooong ago.
Sex is common and expected in this day and age. This mindset underlies all my interactions with my sexual interests from approach to relationship maintenance. I developed it both from the DiClassified Drills bootcamp and after reading "Unhooked" by Laura Sessions Stepp. In fact, first date sex to me is what the first kiss is to most people - an expected and almost mandatory end to a first date. Making it crystal clear that sex is what you're after through sexual eye contact, innuendo, kino escalation, or most powerfully, a combination of all three makes sex happen more often. When you make your intentions clear, most women will try to please you, but only if you're giving approval rather than seeking it.
Approval-giving is the second important concept going on in the interaction. Many guys who study game continually make the mistake of seeking approval. They suffer from some combination of insecurities and look to the woman to tell them they're worthy. As a result, they often toss out empty compliments on their looks ("Wow! You could be a model!) or try to buy them ("Can I get you a drink?"). An important concept I learned in '07 is remembering that most people are more worried about how they come across to you than how you come across to them - especially women.How do you exploit this? Treat women like they're Pavlov's dogs: anytime they do something that pleases you, give approval. When they do something that displeases you, just cut the thread. Taking this concept one step further...my frame is the only way for her to gain my approval is through sex. Anything she does or says that is leading towards intercourse is rewarded (usually with affection or attention) and anything that conflicts with that goal is disregarded.
By the way, I was NOT thinking all of this as I was texting her and neither should you. I went back and realized I was doing all this stuff subconsciously. Just as in the spirt of the Drills bootcamp, practice these concepts on your own personal time, but ultimately when interacting with women, you want your head to be clear and spontaneous.
As 50 Cent would rap, "I'm gettin' sidetracked, now back to the story." Several hours later, she texts me as requested, we meet up, and we fuck like rabbits. Then comes the more interesting conversation - after sex.
In several of my old lay reports, I recall the girl warning me that she was on her period and going to the bathroom to do Lord knows what before she returned and I closed her. Now I know the truth! They were slipping on the Instead softcup! What in the world is that? The softcup's a feminine hygiene product that fits over the cervix and holds in a lot of the red mess that used to make sex-during-menstruation look like a crime scene. The website even advertises using it during intercourse: "Wearing INSTEAD Softcup during your period, you and your partner can enjoy 'clean sex' and he won't even feel it's there!" Well, not quite... I felt that I was rubbing against something. Still, beats the hand and porn any day. Now I know the truth...and so do you!
2007's in the bag. A wild year for some, the past 12 months have been a time of immense growth for me both professionally and personally. My income doubled, my number of lays quintupled, and my inner confidence grew by a power of ten. I have my New Year's Resolutions all set. Do you?
If you saved a copy of the resolutions you wrote last year, pull them out. What did you accomplish in 2007? Where did you falter? Why did you falter? What can you do differently this year to prevent those mistakes? What can you do to build on your successes?
Whatever your goals may be, make sure they're crystal clear. If you don't know exactly what you're after, how will you know if you've accomplished the mission?
What's my ultimate seduction goal of 2008? Actually, I have two.
1) Longterm, ultimate goal: A glorious mLTR with three luscious blondes, sort of like...
2) Short-term goal: to fill up my new T-Mobile Wing with numbers of sexually ravenous fuck buddies whom I can mass text on a given night and have one or several of them lined up and ready to go. Casual sex as easy as ordering pizza. Mmmmm...
Of course, you can't help but reflect on 2007. Without further ado, here are the nominees and winners of the first annual Dicknotism awards:
Dicknotist of the Year: Our most prestigious award should go to a man who espouses the tenets of Dicknotism. Through his presence, words, products, posts, or example, he promotes a lifestyle where both men and women are unapologetic of their sexual desires, confident and comfortable in their own power, and empathetic of others. The nominees are:
This year's winner is Johnny Soporno. As a porn producer, he has created a lifestyle where women and sex are abundant and he passes along much of his wisdom and life lessons free of charge, particularly in a recently posted 6 DVD set on his website. Congrats Johnnyand here's to 2008!
PUA Product of the Year: the winning product should be short on fluff and needless entertainment and packed with useful, accurate, and effective information that either a novice or a more advanced PUA can use to advanced his game. The nominees are:
Every product above has contributed to my game and from the emails I received, the game of many others. When I look at the product that's the easiest to learn to implement and translates to actual lays, the DiClassified Drills Bootcamp wins hands down. Congrats to DiCarlo DiClassified.
PUA Blog of the Year: A good blog should be intelligent, well-written, insightful, and contains useful information on pick-up and also the author’s personal realizations on his pick-up journey. The blog should also be currently active and updated at least twice a month. The nominees are:
All of the blogs above offer much value in terms of quality writing, teachings, and wisdom, but Tyler Durden's stands out. Though he has a tendency to be long-winded, if you can make it through each 20 page post, you will finish with new realizations that are unique and insightful. Congrats Tyler.
LR of the Year: Lay reports can serve to teach others the finer points of game that an e-book just can’t do. Good lay reports have been instrumental in helping me with calibration and seeing the bigger picture. The recipient of this year’s LR of the Year should have describe an experience that is fun, daring, based on solid game, and a good learning experience for readers. The nominees are:
Steele (my wing) – Closing a club chick in his car right in public
Samhain (my other wing) – BJ in the middle of the club
Brad P – bathroom close followed by walking out with cum on his shoe
Four lays in one week from cold approaches... The force is strong in Brian and that's why he's our winner. Sporadic success is beautiful, but consistency is a reliable measure of solid game. Congrats Brian.
Publicist of the Year: More and more people are learning about the pick-up community and that can only be a good thing. This subculture has been underground for too long and we need publicity to reach more men struggling with this area of their lives. The recipient of this award has done the best job in publicizing the community and getting us all more mainstream exposure. The nominees are:
As far as publicity goes, 2007 was Mystery's year. Prior to his VH1 show, most people got their knowledge of the community from Neil Strauss' The Game. When I heard that Strauss was coming out with a sequel this year, I thought he'd steal the show again. Nope. The Pick-up Artist was an entertaining show that will further contribute to the swelling of seduction lairs around the world and that can only be a good thing. Congrats Mystery!
Sex Guru of the Year: If you’re going to learn how to pick-up better and get more sex, you might as well learn how to be good at it. The recipient of this year’s award should exude and promote an unapologetic pride of his sexual desire and convey a sexual mindset and techniques that will help men give women the intense, wild, erotic, passionate sexual experiences they crave. The nominees are:
Yes, none of these products actually came out in 2007 but with the listing above, who needs anything else? Dan Rose's Sex God Method is comprehensive, effective, and devastating. I hope a sequel with more advanced concepts and techniques is in the world. Congrats Dan!
Innovator of the Year: There’s not that much to pick-up…or is there? There are plenty of copy-cats out there and not too many new ideas. So, let’s honor the truly creative. The recipient of this award came up with a novel idea or strategy that has truly revamped or revolutionized your game. The nominees are:
Cory Skyy brought us back to the fundamentals with sexual eye contact. AJ and Jordan brought us Pickup Podcast, they now interview more guests than David D...and for free. However, this year's innovator of seduction is Vin DiCarlo for creating the world's first drills-based bootcamp and laying out his reverse supplication game in Sexual Selection Switch. Congrats Vin and here's to 2008!
Inner Game Guru of the Year: Inner game is the game, but finding a good inner game guru is tough in of itself.The recipient of this award should possess a strong inner self-confidence that projects comfort with and love of himself and a love for other people…and can teach other to have that level of confidence. The nominees are:
Johnny Soporno & Hypnotica both live, breathe, and exude a frame that sucks in everyone around him. However, no one exudes and teaches inner game like Decker and his entire Authentic Man Program team. By training men to develop confidence at their core, he is taking pickup to a new level. Congrats Decker!
There you have it. 2007 was an amazing year. Let's top it in 2008!
The Dicknotist Supports Barack Obama for President!
From The Man Who Transformed The Dicknotist's Game...
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Who Is The Dicknotist?
The Dicknotist
Boston, Massachusetts, United States
An avid student of seduction, my style is a hybrid of the principles taught in the Authentic Man Program and Vin DiCarlo's brand of Natural Game. Thus, I attract women based on my own attractive qualities, confidence, and personality.
An avid student of seduction, my style is a hybrid of the principles taught in the Authentic Man Program and Vin DiCarlo's brand of Natural Game. Thus, I attract women based on my own attractive qualities, confidence, and personality.
