It's Black Bush! My most loyal disciple is back with another question:
Hey Dicknotist,
Black Bush here ...How's it going? I hope all is going well with you since you haven't posted in a long time ... You're probably uber busy. So I appreciate any time you give into answering my email.
Again, thanks for all your help - I'm doing wonderful with the ladies thanks to you my personal Jedi Master. I've got a 6 month LTR going on right now to learn how to manage relationships for myself, dealing with the needs of a girl in a relationship and all importantly SEX, knocking boots, rocking the house! Whew!
Which brings me to my next question. This is sorta embarrassing but I don't give a fuck. I need answers, and if you have a question dammit, ask it, right? LOL
I've searched and searched - far and wide - all over the Internet for the answer to this simple question:
How do you last longer in bed?
LOL simple, right? But there is a lot of B.S. from pills, to Jedi mind tricks to, numbing cremes, to Kegel exercises. Or the Sting-like Tantric sex 'ish that's all over the Internet. Umm, yea I'm cool on all the "non-natural" things and the mental magic tricks. I need concrete answers.
Honestly, this may be T.M.I. but I'm usually good (depending) from 2.5 to 5 or 7 minutes first time out the gate. Usually I'm averaging 2.5 to 3 minutes. I usually don't get any complaints because I'm confident and dominant, I've usually gotten her off a few times already on the foreplay and oral/manual stimulation - and can stay hard for up to 5 minutes after so I keep going at it praying to God the condom doesn't break.
But honestly, what's my best bet for improvement? I'm going to guess that most men suffer from this problem of premature ejaculation ... young and old they just don't admit it. I've tried thinking about other things - doesn't work. I've tried squeezing the PC or pulling out when I feel the urge just to be yelled at, "DON"T STOP!" ... LMAO kinda funny actually... and, I've tried different condoms ... er', that are way more uncomfortable than the Durex XXLs. It's not like I'm getting mentally excited by the prospect of getting my rocks off trust me... it just HAPPENS. LOL
Let me be frank .. I know that porno is all a lot of cuts and takes ... but I want to last a long time like the guys in the videos do ... 10, 12, 15 minutes on the first round. Not after I've already shot my load. There's no way I can Dicknotize a girl confidently or dominantly if I'm shooting my load in 2 or 4 minutes. Plus: DAMMIT!!! IT'S JUST NOT FUN FOR ME EITHER! LOL. I want to make a girl submit from having a ton of body shaking orgasms to turn around and tell me breathless, "Ok, that's enough" Only for me to give her a sly smile, smack her on the ass and tell her I haven't cum yet and for her to be in heaven knowing she's about to cum some more until I do.
So, you're the PUA who doesn't claim to be a PUA with all the GREAT answers (unlike a lot of other tards I won't mention). So what's your answer ol' Jedi Master?
Faithfully - Your Padowan,
Black Bush
I guess you can tell I've been watching a ton of Star Wars lately, huh? LOL
Black Bush,
Congrats on the new relationship. 6 months...oh boy. It's love! :) Don't worry, though. I'll have you fucking like a Mandingo on crack in no time!
First, let me address my lack of updates lately. Yes, I've been busy, but that's not why I've been updating less. I've always meant this blog to be a reference guide. Each post contains a great deal of knowledge to shed years off the average guy's learning curve. But truth be told, there's not much more I can write about pickup. The reason gurus keep rehashing the same ideas under new titles is simply because there aren't any new ideas. Everything you need to know is within this blog (or within the products of thousands of gurus out there). If I kept posting away, I'd just start to repeat myself, which doesn't serve anybody. So, I'll still answer your questions, but only if it hasn't been well covered in this blog or I have a better answer now that I've grown and matured.
Is this blog dead? No, just evolving. Next month, I celebrate my one year anniversary with my current girlfriend and while it's been a wild, rocky 12 months, I'm sure as hell happy to have her in my life. What I'm also sure about is that very little of what I learned in the community did anything to further this relationship along. It's a completely new skill set. So, I've decided that much of my future posts will be on relationship management. Some topics I'm considering include: How do you keep sex interesting? How do you create a relationship deeper than you thought possible? How do you manage threesomes? How do you manage meeting her family for the first time? How do you make love last? What do you do when the love fades? I have goosebumps because I'll be learning along with all of you, so stay tuned!
Ok, for premature ejaculation, I endorse two methods. The first one I discovered on my own: use the positions you have a hard time cumming in. For some guys, it's girl-on-top. For others, it may be the spoon position. For me, it's doggie, which is surprising given its popularity with both sexes. Sure, it feels great but I find it tiring and I can't cum in that position to save my life. What most men do is avoid these positions and stick with the ones they love the most (which are often the ones that make them cum quickest). Incidentally, that's also how how things get stale and boring in the bedroom. Rather, incorporate those same positions you dislike into your lovemaking.
There are a lot of positions out there to try. For ideas, I like to look at the Periodic Table of Sex poster on my wall. Even better is the The Lover's Guide to Sexual Positions. For about an hour, they go through 60 different positions in great detail and unlike most of these how-to sex tapes, the models are pretty hot. Find a position that's hard if not impossible for you to cum in but that she enjoys and incorporate that to last longer. After she cums or when she's really close, switch to one of the positions you love. In general, it's a good idea to be switch positions at least twice during sex; it solves a good deal of any sexual issues that come up.
The second and better solution will probably be no surprise: the start stop method. The gist of this method is to train yourself to recognize the signal your body gives you when you're close to cumming and to stop or slow down before you hit that "point of no return." An excellent, detailed description of the method can be found here. Again, for a more visual description, you can check out You Can Last Longer. Unfortunately, despite the cover, this video is old and so are the models who demonstrate the techniques. It's the best program I've found on this topic, so suck it up and watch. You'll survive and your girl will be happy. ;) Oh, and don't worry if you're a poor student like I used to be. With a little googling, you'll find these available for download somewhere...
Finally, the last thing you should be worrying about is the condom breaking. If your cock is bigger than average, just get a brand that fits. Durex XXL should accommodate up to about 9.5 inches. Experiment with different brands. Check out Gay Condoms.com and order a sample pack. Yeah, I know the site caters to gay guys, but they have the lowest prices out there. In this economy, you have to make concessions. :)
Stay in touch,
-Big D
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